Wednesday, November 19, 2008

things aren't always what they seem

So, last night, I decided to fill the lagoon with hot water, threw some vanilla bubble bath in...and soak.
I used some brand new skin wash, made from a colloidal extract of oats.
I exfoliated my face with a milk protein wash.
And then, I conditioned my hair with cinammon conditioner.

And then I thought.....

Hot Water

.....I'm a bowl of porridge!

Seriously, I think I have more fruit and vegetable products in my bathroom than I do in the fridge. Although, I have a great shelf in my freezer, entitiled "the first aid kit". It is the top shelf, so I need to make an effort to reach it, as it contains an ice pack for physical injuries, ice cream for psychological injuries, sorbet for low-fat injuries, and vodka for ALL types of injuries.

Strange, I know, but this pharmaceutical creativity has a logical origin. Back when I was an athlete, I was subject to random drug testing, so I couldn't take many over the counter I learnt to make my own legal versions.

Recently, I needed some cold and flu tablets, so I made my own - panadol, chocolate, and a crappy magazine.

However, nothing beats my home-made prozac - Nutella (heated in the microwave), mixed with baileys, and then poured over ice cream. Guaranteed to fix what ails ya!

I better go. I feel an injury coming on.