Monday, March 31, 2008

The Bathroom Lagoon

Now, you are so lucky I can write this blog.
You are so lucky that I'm not drowned, waterlogged, floating or pruney (as in wrinkled...not purple with a pip in the middle).

You see....

The bathroom in my new house has a lagoon in the middle.

Well, I call it a lagoon. I suspect that Bunnings call it a spa for two, and Shane Warne calls it "woohoo!!!"
Either way, it doesn't matter what you call it, I have a massive triangular bath-like washing vessel in the corner of my bathroom. After a 4 year undergraduate degree, and 2 years of a doctorate, I am qualified to say, "that's not wheelchair friendly". But, in accordance with the theme of my life, "let's give it a red hot go"

Here's some things I've learnt about lagoons since moving to this new house:

- If you don't fill the lagoon above the level of the jets, those jets spray the water at an angle of about 45 degrees into the air.
- If you are the same height as me, reaching over to turn the lagoon bubbles on, your face will be about 45 degrees above the the air. You do the maths

- If you do fill the lagoon above the level of the jets, it's very deep
- If you are the same height as me, it might be a good idea to wear a life jacket or some type of scuba device

- The best way to relax in the lagoon is to close your eyes
- The worst way to relax in the lagoon is to close your that is when Reg-the-circus-dog is unsupervised and takes a flying leap from the wheelchair (and fortunately on that occasion, missed the spa, but not by much!!)

- The lagoon has head rests in two corners
- If you are the same height as me, those "headrests" are merely serving suggestions as you can sit in any direction in a triangular lagoon. You can even dissect the hypotenuse if you want to!!

And the most important thing I've learnt about lagoons this week....

After half a gin and tonic, it's probably best not to have a quick lagoon-swim because....

....if you're the same height as me, and you have the same alchohol tolerance, you'll have to fill the lagoon up to the top...and float your way out!!

Right, where did I leave my flippers??


Monday, March 10, 2008

Hot day + deadline = blog

So, where were we up to before we got rudely life?

It's a hot day. A thesis deadline is looming. How can I distract myself.....

I know. Write a blog!!!!

Reasons I haven't been interrupting your life since November:

- I have a new computer with vista. It shows a tiny slideshow of all my pictures. I keep getting sidetracked reminiscing, and then forget what I've been doing.

- I have a new dog, Reg. I keep getting sidetracked...and picking up 'presents' from the loungeroom floor.

- I'm moving house. I keep getting sidetracked as I try to work out if each of my possessions goes to charity, to the new place, or to the tip.

- I have a new job. I keep getting sidetracked as I try to work out the email system, and wonder where the toilets are.

In summary, for the last 4 months, I kept getting sidetracked. I think I might have dementia.

Now, what was I saying?

Right, Reg then.

Here's a photo of Reg and his 'beloved' 'sister' Lulu
Notice the family resemblance?

Ahh...puppies. They remind you of sunshine, and happy, and the smell of cut grass, and spring, and children, and laughter
......unless, of course......, once again, buy the craziest dog in the litter!!

Now, here is my confession. The breeders brought the soon-to-be Reg and his could-have-been-Reg brother round to my house to see which one Lulu the unhelper dog would tolerate the best.

Soon-to-be-Reg ran round like an idiot. Jumped off the ramp. Took a speccy over a plant for a bone (speccy - aussie football slang. "spectacular mark" ie. a really high jump whilst catching a tight shorts (NB. Reg did a nude speccy)).
Could-have-been-Reg sat there and watched....then fell over.

Reg is so "lively" that I might sew him a colourful collar......and we're going busking!!!


PS. Since Reg's arrival, Lulu the unhelper dog has defaulted to Lulu the good dog. Score!!