Monday, October 6, 2008

Lovely to look at, pretty to hold. But if you break it, consider it sold

So, I've hurt my elbow again. Not too badly, it just hurts when I move it, which, by my calculations....is every 14 seconds!

Following on from my last blog, it would be logical to think that I have a gym injury.
A huffy-puffy-owie, if you will.

I could have hurt myself whilst doing a chin-up (or, if I'm honest, a barely-get-my-bottom-of-the-seat-up).
I could have hurt myself throwing the medicine ball (sometimes, I do a Trevor Chappell)
I could have hurt myself with the punching bag (when I lose my balance, and accidentally headbutt it, yes it does hurt).

But no.
Not this time.
I have a hard core injury, from the most extreme sport.........
.........................
......knitting

Yep, you heard correctly.

For those of you who regularly follow this blog, you'll know that, in the past 3 years:
- I almost broke my toe in a nude waterslide incident into the bath
- I narrowly avoided face-planting the oven whilst baking lasagna
- I could have drowned in a shower-wall debacle
- I almost fell off the bench when overcome with alcohol fumes from a risotto
- I have experienced paranoia when I was stalked by a cardboard cutout of Gary Ablett
- I could have been a tasty yum cha for some lucky crocodile in Darwin

So, after reflecting on these things, and with my newly acquired craft injury, I'm beginning to think that maybe, quite possibly, highly likely, I am for ornamental purposes only.

Maybe, I'm that porcelain figurine, of some milkmaid feeding a chicken, that sits on your mantle piece. (and after reading that line, every Chaffey-kinfolk just said, "while you're stoking the fire").

But then, maybe not. I don't think I warrant porcelain. And I don't own chickens.

So, I'm fairly certain that I'm an ornament, but which one would I be? It would be:
- something bright and colourful
- something that caught your eye
- something that was a little unpredictable
- something that you could use as a distraction
- something amusing
- something that would break if you tried to use it for any other purpose
- something that's could tumble down stairs if you pushed it, but couldn't get back up again

Yes people,
I AM A SLINKY

3 comments:

Megan said...

Wouldn't a milkmaid be feeding a cow?

Lisa said...

hahahaha...that's what you call "poetic licence"

Anonymous said...

by your hints i thought you were going to suggest you were a Toby Jug, sorry must have been still visualising the milk maid porcelain dust collector thingy...its a 'Catlady' thing MW