Sunday, September 16, 2007

Food, glorious food...sometimes

13 Feb 2007

Yesterday, I started my "official doing a doctorate, work from home, get the hell out I gotta study" job. So, today, I've spent a good few hours stuffing about in myspace.

I was just uploading some photos from a wedding I went to on the weekend, and I saw a photo of potted meat that I uploaded last week. Good old potted meat. Usually, my mother makes it...and the smell usually makes all her neighbours have a little vommy. However, the photo in question was of a can of potted meat I purchased at a local servo in Warm Springs, Georgia for 69cents (yes, I giggled). (doesn't "Warm Springs" make you think of the piss pool at Eastern Beach?). The ingredients include "de-fatted fatty tissue" and "mechanically separated meat". How could anyone go past that? I gave a can to my brother for christmas one year and on one drunken evening, the word on the street is that he had it on toast! mmmm.

But, come to think of it, that's not too unusual in our family. We all like potted meat (despite the neighbours vommy noises), and there is a history of non-edible dinners. One christmas when I was about 5, my dad bought a frozen turkey from a guy at a pub. It took hours to cook, and was a bit tough, but what did we know? We'd never cooked turkey before.....and still haven't. Apparently a few pelicans were stolen from Balliang Sanctuary and sold at pubs prior to christmas to unsuspecting drunken men who were trying to appease their wives with good dinner-fixin's. Guess what? Pelican tastes like chicken.

Then, around the same age, my mother got a bargain on mince at Safeway. She cooked it in a pie, and we all reckoned it was just like a 4 and 20 they sell at the footy, except there were a few little bones in it. Mind you, I was 5, and I'd never been to the footy, but what did we know? We'd never eaten good mince before....and still haven't. Apparently, in large big red letters on the pack were the memorable words (still etched into my cerebral cortex today)..."pets mince only". Guess what? Pets' mince also tastes a bit like chicken.

So, when our mother joined weight watchers, we all breathed a sigh of relief cos there's not too much that can go wrong with a carrot (ooh, mind is boggling...gotta stop it!). Little did we know that WW enjoys a bit of liver. High in vitamins, low in fat, revolting in flavour so you wont eat too much! We, of course, wouldn't eat any of, as a solution, my mother put it in a blender to create the world's first...poo thickshake. Try matter what you do, it will never taste like chicken!

Just thought I'd get that off my chest,

BTW: comments welcome on our previous blog, "Bella" (oh, and this one, of course).

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