Sunday, September 16, 2007

Is 3 inches enough?

01 Apr 2007

Guys, we've had a victory! The disabled toilet at spencer st station (sorry, I mean Southern Crustacean) now has a lock!! Ooh yeah. Weeing in peace....the greatest type of wee (sorry, but I think that required a non-gratuitous emoticon)

Anyway, thankyou for all of your requests for blogging topics. I'll do my best, but here is my issue: it's difficult to write about something if you haven't heard of it/experienced it/randomly spotted it on a train before. So, keep the topics rolling in, but we'll see.

Speaking of "not quite in my universe", I just checked my junk mail for my work email address.

There was this astounding number:
Hello you, I saw your photo on that site and you really handsome man. I at home now, so please talk to me on msn. My login name is Skanky_McPanky (NB. I might have made the name up, but the rest is cut and paste)

Mmm. Firstly, Thanks.
Secondly, I was feeling a little unsure about my oestrogen levels, so I went back to the junkmail to see what else I could find. Found this little number...

Are you sick of not pleasing your woman. Our pills are guaranteed to make your member 3 inches longer. Surprise your lady tonight.

Great. That will make 3 inches in total then. WHAT THE?!?!?! WHY ME?!?! AND WHAT WOMAN?!?! NO, NOT FOR ME THANKS!

Ok, I'll admit, I'm not your standard skimpy-assed, plastic-face woman. But really....I don't really need a 3 inch willy, nor to speak to a "blonde, busty Russian" who wants a visa. Thanks anyway

But, not to worry. I've just booked a flight to Darwin for a tournament, and last time I was in NT, I had a small holiday romance. Well....the truth noon on a Tuesday, in the Alice Springs Mall, a very drunk man thought I was a park bench and took a seat....then took a swig from his brown bag. Felt pretty special. Come to think of it...I really would have surprised him if I had a 3 inch doodle.


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