Sunday, September 16, 2007

Grinding to a halt

15 Aug 2007

So, the time is almost upon me.
The world, as we know it, is about to change.
Life may never be the same, but will go on regardless.
Yes, that's right.
The trusty Daewoo Lanos is slowly grinding its way into the ground. (ok, I admit, my driving probably has a lot to do with this, but let's make a pact not to talk about that).

I remember the day we bought it. The sales lady tried to get me to upgrade to the flashy electronical magical unlocking device (more technically known as a "beep beep") by telling me a story about one of her friends that was being chased by a stranger, and, as she was running to her car, pressed her beep beep to unlock the door, got in really quickly, and used the beep beep to relock the door, and drove away before she could be attacked.

She was surprised when that story didn't make me want to upgrade. However, I'm not sure she picked her marketing strategy well. The reality would be...I'd be chased by a stranger. As I was wheeling quickly to my car, I'd press the beep beep, unlock the door......
....then transfer into the seat, take off the left wheel of my chair, put it into the backseat, spin the chair around, take off the right wheel and put it next to the other one, push the seat back, lean on the strut for support, pick up the frame, lift it to my knee, shift my weight, put the frame on the passenger seat, hold onto the steering wheel, pull myself forward, flip the seat upright, then close the door. My only hope would be if the stranger was easily distracted, and another person had walked passed!

Sorry, got a little distracted then myself. I thought I'd fixed the lava lamp by running it for a couple of hours. But, just then, it made a loud noise and appears to have had a bowel collapse. Now, it looks like a jar of purple liquid, in which is floating many little globules of snot.

ok, back to the car.

About 2 years ago, I tried to install a little thingy that allowed me to play a cd through the tape player, via a walkman. Clearly, I was way too old to know what I was doing, and managed to create another bowel collapse of an electrical item. Since then, the tape player doesn't. And, the only way to get a radio station is to scan because the programmed buttons aren't. (oh, and the radio light doesn't work, so you never really know what station you're on).

That's ok though. I'm a radio hussy and listen to anything that sounds good. However, recently, the radio has taken to changing channels anytime I drive over a bump. This isn't ok. Seriously, if you've got any control issues, this is not the car for you!!

And, now that I live quite a way from work, I usually get a drive-through McCoffee on the way to work. Well, the coffee cup is too large for the little Korean coffee cup holders, so the top of the cup continuously presses on the scan button. For over an hour, I get to drive with 3 second snippets of songs. I don't know what's in the top 40 at the moment, but I can sing you a great compilation!

According to my many gentlemen friends (hahahah), having a dodgy radio is not really a reason to ditch a car. So, my friends, I see that radio, and raise you one!

You see, my car clearly has read too many fairytales. It is obviously quite taken by the tale of Hansel and Gretel. However, instead of dropping breadcrumbs to find our way home again, my car insists on dropping little bits of oil (and once, even a muffler).

So, you see, I'm in the market. (car/gentlemen friend/muffler)

I would really like to get a convertible. But I'm a little concerned.

Here is a picture for your brain, and tell me if you think this would be an issue:
1. Blue sky, sunshine
2. Top down (the car. Not mine)
3. Sunglasses on. The wind in my hair
4. Strong summer breeze
5. Me, sitting atop a raised seat
6. I screech around a corner, looking cool and groovy......
7. until I topple over the side of the car, into the street

Yep, might just get a mini

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